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When Home Is Where the Care Is: The Value of Full-Time Home Care

Introduction: Question Every Family Eventually Faces

There comes a moment in many families when the question can no longer be set aside.

A parent is recovering from surgery. A spouse is living with a progressive condition. A grandparent who once moved through their home with ease now needs a steady hand nearby. In that moment, families are not simply looking for a service. They are looking for someone they can trust, someone who will treat their loved one with the same dignity and attention they would offer themselves.

That is why so many families in the Greater Toronto Area turn to full-time home care: a model built around consistency, presence and the kind of genuine relationship that makes a real difference in someone’s daily life.

Full-time care does not look the same for every family. For some, it means a live-in caregiver who becomes part of the household. For others, it means full-day support during waking hours or overnight care that brings peace of mind when the night feels uncertain. In some situations, 24-hour awake care is the right answer, continuous, attentive support without a single gap. The common thread is this: your loved one is never alone when they need someone most.

What Does Full-Time Home Care Actually Mean?

Full-time home care means your loved one has dedicated, professional support woven into the rhythm of their day, not a rotating series of brief visits. 96% of Canadians aged 65 and older prefer to remain in their homes as they age and the right care makes that possible.

It covers the small moments that matter most: the morning routine, the afternoon rest, medications taken on time, meals prepared with care. For older adults or those recovering from illness, these are not incidental details. They are where safety, comfort and quality of life are either supported or left to chance.

Depending on your family’s needs, full-time support can take several forms:

  • Live-in care: Dedicated caregivers live in the home, providing consistent support around the clock. This is well-suited for individuals who benefit from a consistent team of 2 to cover 7 days and a stable, trusted presence day after day, but where the client and caregiver sleep through the night.
  • Full-day care: A caregiver is present throughout the waking hours, supporting daily routines, mobility, meals and companionship, then returning home at the end of the day.
  • Overnight care: A caregiver stays awake through the night, providing reassurance and immediate help if needed. This is especially valuable for families managing fall risk, anxiety or post-surgical recovery.
  • 24-hour awake care: Two caregivers rotate daily shifts to ensure someone is alert and attentive at all hours. This is the most comprehensive level of in-home support, appropriate for complex or high-need situations.

A care specialist will help you determine which arrangement fits best and that can evolve over time as your loved one’s needs change. You can explore our full range of home care services to get a clearer picture of what each option involves.

Why Consistency Matters More Than Most Families Realize

When care changes hands frequently, so does comfort.

Each new face requires re-explanation. Each transition, however small, introduces a degree of stress for the person receiving care, particularly for those living with cognitive decline or recovering from a significant health event. The cumulative weight of inconsistency can be quietly exhausting for everyone involved. The Alzheimer Society of Canada notes that familiar routines and consistent support are among the most effective tools for helping someone living with dementia feel safe and grounded at home.

Families who choose full-time care arrangements often describe the same experience: relief. Not just for themselves, but for the person they love. When the same dedicated professional is present day after day, whether as a live-in caregiver or a consistent full-day presence, trust builds naturally. The loved one knows who will be there when they wake up. They know the voice, the approach, the familiar routine.

That predictability is not a luxury. For many people, it is the foundation of feeling safe at home.

This is why caregivers who commit to longer-term, consistent placements tend to see better outcomes, not just clinically, but emotionally. A caregiver who knows someone well can respond to subtle shifts that a rotating staff member might miss entirely. For families navigating the additional complexity of cognitive decline, specialized dementia care brings an added layer of expertise to that consistent presence.

The Role of Healthcare Professionals in the Decision

Many families do not arrive at the full-time care decision on their own.

Hospital discharge planners, occupational therapists, social workers and physicians are often the ones who first raise it. These professionals see every day what happens when a patient returns home without adequate support. They understand the risks that come with gaps in care.

Trusted referrals from the healthcare community carry weight precisely because these professionals have no stake in the business decision, only in the well-being of their patient. When doctors and discharge planners consistently point families toward full-time in-home support, it reflects the genuine value of the model.

If a healthcare professional has suggested exploring live-in care, overnight support or 24-hour awake care for your family member, that recommendation is worth taking seriously.

What Families Can Expect From Quality Full-Time Care

Quality full-time care begins with understanding, not a checklist, but a real conversation.

A good care specialist takes the time to understand not just the clinical picture, but the human one. What does your loved one’s daily routine look like? What are their preferences, their personality, their specific health requirements? The answers to those questions shape everything that follows.

From there, the focus is on creating a stable, supportive environment. For a live-in caregiver, that means becoming part of the household, learning the quirks of the kitchen, the preferred chair by the window, the topics that spark conversation. For a full-day or overnight caregiver, it means showing up with the same care and attentiveness, every time.

Families can also expect open communication. When something changes, a new symptom, a shift in mood, a change in appetite, a dedicated caregiver brings that information forward rather than waiting to be asked. That transparency is one of the most important things full-time care provides for families who cannot be present around the clock themselves.

The Emotional Side of the Decision

There is often guilt wrapped up in acknowledging that a loved one needs more support than family members can personally provide.

Let that go.

Seeking dedicated, professional care is not an admission of failure. It is an act of love, one that says: I want the person I care about to have more than I can give alone. It is a recognition that quality of life matters and that the right support, delivered consistently and compassionately, can help someone continue to live with dignity in the home they love.

Families who have walked this path often describe finding the right caregivers as one of the most meaningful things they did for their loved one. Not because it solved every challenge, but because it brought peace of mind.

Conclusion: The Right Support Changes Everything

Full-time home care is not a single, fixed solution. It has a range of options: live-in support, full-day care, overnight care and 24-hour awake care. Each is designed to meet families where they are and adapt as needs evolve.

What they all share is the thing that matters most: trusted, dedicated professionals who genuinely know and care for your loved one. Someone who is present, consistent and attentive in the ways that make a real difference.

If you are exploring care options for a family member in the Greater Toronto Area, start with a conversation. You do not need to have all the answers before you reach out, you simply need to be willing to ask the right questions.

Contact Caregiver Services today to speak with a care specialist and take the first step.

FAQ

What is the difference between live-in care and 24-hour awake care?

Live-in care means a caregiver lives in the home and works throughout the day, while both the caregiver and client sleep through the night. 24-hour awake care involves two caregivers rotating daily shifts to ensure someone is alert and attentive at all times. This makes 24-hour awake care the right choice for individuals who require continuous, uninterrupted support.

How do I know which type of full-time care is right for my loved one?

The best starting point is a conversation with a care specialist who can assess your loved one’s daily needs, health conditions and home environment. From there, they can recommend whether live-in, full-day, overnight or 24-hour awake care is the most appropriate fit and that recommendation can be revisited as circumstances change.

Can full-time home care support someone living with dementia or cognitive decline?

Yes, full-time home care is particularly well-suited for individuals living with dementia or other forms of cognitive decline. The consistency of having the same caregivers present reduces confusion and anxiety and a familiar routine provides a sense of security that is difficult to replicate with rotating or part-time care.

What should I expect during the transition to full-time care at home?

The transition typically begins with a detailed intake conversation where a care specialist gets to know your loved one’s routines, preferences and care needs. Compatible caregivers are then matched to the family and the first weeks focus on building trust, learning the household rhythm and adjusting the care plan as needed.

Does full-time home care only apply to seniors or can it support people recovering from surgery or illness?

Full-time home care is appropriate for a wide range of situations, including post-surgical recovery, management of chronic illness and support following a hospital discharge. It is not exclusive to older adults. Anyone who requires consistent, attentive support at home can benefit from a full-time care arrangement.

What role do healthcare professionals play in recommending full-time home care?

Physicians, discharge planners, occupational therapists and social workers often recommend full-time home care when a patient is returning home with significant support needs. Their referrals carry meaningful weight because their sole interest is in the patient’s safety and well-being, not in any particular business arrangement.

When To Hire a Caregiver For Elderly Loved Ones

Introduction: Recognizing When Extra Support Is Needed

Caring for an aging loved one is deeply personal and many families do all they can to provide support on their own. For a time, that may feel manageable, but as care needs change, there may come a point when additional help is no longer optional. It becomes an important step in protecting your loved one’s safety, comfort and quality of life.

That moment is not always easy to recognize. Changes often happen gradually and what begins as a few small concerns can grow into daily challenges that affect the whole family. Choosing support is not about stepping back. It is about making sure your loved one receives the dedicated care, consistency and reassurance they need at home. For families beginning to explore home care services in the GTA, understanding the signs early can make the transition feel more manageable.

It can also help you make thoughtful care decisions before a situation becomes urgent. Working with a trusted caregiver for elderly, loved ones can provide reassurance and dependable support during a time of change.

Everyday Tasks Are Becoming More Difficult

One of the first signs that added support may be needed is a growing struggle with everyday routines. You may notice your loved one is skipping meals, wearing the same clothing repeatedly, forgetting personal hygiene or finding it harder to keep their home tidy and safe. These changes may seem minor at first, but they often point to a larger shift in daily independence.

Tasks such as cooking, dressing, bathing and moving around the home are closely tied to confidence and quality of life. When those routines start to feel overwhelming or unsafe, personalized care at home can offer the right balance of support and dignity. A trusted caregiver can help make daily life feel steadier while easing pressure for the family.

Memory Loss or Confusion Is Becoming More Noticeable

Some forgetfulness can come with age, but ongoing confusion should never be ignored. Missing appointments, forgetting medications, repeating questions or becoming disoriented in familiar places may all suggest that more regular support is needed. These signs can affect both safety and peace of mind.

Memory-related changes can also create urgent risks around the home. Leaving the stove on, forgetting to lock the door or becoming confused about time and place can quickly lead to serious concerns. The Alzheimer Society of Canada outlines common warning signs of dementia, which can help families better understand when extra support may be needed. When these signs become more frequent, families often begin looking for a caregiver for elderly family members who need more consistent supervision and support at home. With a reliable caregiver in place, families can create more structure and provide reassuring day-to-day support.

Mobility and Safety Concerns Are Increasing

A change in mobility is another important sign to watch. If your loved one has fallen recently, struggles to get in and out of bed, avoids stairs or seems unsure while walking, it may be time to consider additional care. Even a minor fall can affect confidence and lead to a greater risk of future injury.

Safety concerns may also show up in subtle ways, such as bruising, slower movement or hesitation during basic tasks. Dedicated care at home can help reduce these risks by providing supervision, mobility assistance and a safer daily routine. The Government of Canada shares guidance on preventing falls at home, including practical ways to reduce risk for older adults. The goal is to support independence while making the home environment more secure.

Family Caregiving Is Becoming Overwhelming

Many family members take on caregiving responsibilities out of love and commitment. Over time, though, balancing that role with work, parenting and personal responsibilities can become exhausting. When caregiving begins to affect your health, relationships or emotional well-being, outside support can make a meaningful difference.

Bringing in a caregiver does not mean you are stepping away from your loved one’s care. It means you are building a stronger and more sustainable care plan. With compassionate support, families can share responsibilities and spend more time focusing on connection instead of constant stress.

Health Needs Are Becoming More Complex

As care needs become more involved, consistency becomes even more important. Your loved one may need support after a hospital stay, help managing medications, assistance getting to appointments or day-to-day guidance with a care routine recommended by a doctor or therapist. These needs can quickly become difficult for a family to manage alone.

A trained caregiver can help families maintain routines and respond to changing needs with more confidence. This kind of dependable care is especially valuable during recovery periods or when long-term support is needed. Families looking for more consistent support may also benefit from learning about live-in caregiver options when daily needs become more ongoing.

Isolation or Emotional Changes Are Becoming More Common

Not every sign is physical. Some older adults begin to withdraw from social activities, lose interest in hobbies or seem more anxious, lonely or discouraged. Emotional well-being plays a major role in overall health and isolation can have a lasting effect on quality of life.

Conclusion: Taking The Next Step With Confidence

Recognizing when it is time to hire a caregiver often starts with noticing small but meaningful changes. Difficulties with daily tasks, increased confusion, mobility concerns, emotional withdrawal or growing family stress can all be signs that more support is needed. Taking action early can help your loved one receive compassionate care before challenges become more serious.

With the right caregiver for elderly support, families can create a plan that protects safety, preserves dignity and brings more peace of mind to everyone involved. At Caregiver Services, we provide reliable, personalized care for families across the GTA with the consistency and commitment they can trust.

Contact Caregiver Services today to learn how dedicated home care can support your loved one and help your family feel confident in the next step.

FAQ

How do I know if my parent needs a caregiver?

If your parent is having trouble with daily routines such as bathing, dressing, cooking or remembering medications, it may be time to consider added support. In many cases, a caregiver for elderly family members can help make daily life safer, more comfortable and more manageable.

Is hiring a caregiver the right choice if my loved one wants to stay at home?

Yes, in-home care can be a good option for older adults who want to remain in familiar surroundings. It allows families to add reliable support while helping their loved one maintain comfort, routine and independence.

Can a caregiver help after a hospital stay?

Yes, many families arrange care after a hospital discharge because recovery often comes with new routines and added risks. A caregiver can provide support with mobility, reminders and daily care while your loved one regains strength.

What if our family is already helping with care?

Family support is valuable, but caregiving can become difficult to manage over time. A professional caregiver can work alongside your family to provide consistency, reduce stress and make the care plan more sustainable.

Does home care only help with physical needs?

No, home care also supports emotional well-being. In addition to practical assistance, a caregiver can provide companionship, reassurance and meaningful daily interaction that helps reduce isolation.

“How” Makes All the Difference

When Talking to Aging Parents About Their Health – How Makes All the Difference

As our parents or spouses age, and their health challenges increase, what used to be normal activities often become much riskier. The challenge for family members trying to help is how to discuss these issues without making our loved ones feel like we are being paternalistic or threatening their sense of control over their own lives.

Whether it’s driving when they shouldn’t; walking without their cane or walker; eating or drinking what is clearly in conflict with what they’ve been told by their doctor; their decreased interest in doing things or seeing people; or their resistance to being more physically active – it is a serious challenge to persuade them to make what we feel are needed changes.

We love them dearly, and like their love and guidance for us over the years, our love for them drives us to want to influence their behaviour to keep them safe.

The reality, however, is that many if not most family members don’t want our input or resist it. They often get annoyed and further stressed by us telling them how to act and behave.

What we must keep in mind is that as we age and our health declines, we all fight to maintain three hugely important interrelated values: our identity, our dignity and our independence – and every time others tell or ask us to stop doing something, or do it differently, it makes us feel as though these values are being attacked and that we are being treated like children.

More often than not, instead of looking for a better approach, we just repeat the same message and get more frustrated and angrier with them because they won’t listen or change.

As caring and loving family members who are key parts of their support system, we often fail to recognize that our goal is not to tell them what they need to hear. Our goal is to try to find a way for them to actually hear us and consider changing their approach. To that end, how we say what we say matters more than ever.

We also fail to recognize that what we are suggesting to them means sacrificing their identity or dignity or independence – for safety. To us it is obvious – to them not so much. In fact, for many seniors, they are okay risking their safety to maintain their sense of self, as long as they are able to make their own decisions and not put others at risk.

Our bodies often fail us faster than our perception of what we are actually capable of. It takes time and a lot of self reflection to accept that we aren’t capable of what we once were – and we frequently come to that realization kicking and screaming.

Without exaggeration, I have two or three discussions every week with families facing these issues (parents/spouses who resist good advice). Unfortunately, the conversations tend to end with the acceptance that change is not likely until an event occurs – typically a fall – that makes the needed change obvious to everyone – but only after a serious price has been paid.

So what can be done? I would suggest that one of the only other strategies is for us to change our approach first.

We need to find different ways to talk to our parents or spouses about these risks and issues. We need to turn down the heat, and turn up the empathy for the intangible values we are asking them to sacrifice. We need to find calmer ways to share how we feel and why we are concerned, and try much harder to avoid being perceived as paternalistic and oblivious to the inner psychological and emotional struggles that go hand in hand with their physical struggles. We also need to invest much more time trying to understand how they feel about what they are facing.

We need to find ways to help them see that sacrificing a few elements of their sense of self (for example using mobility aids, limiting or stop driving, or increasing social activity) will facilitate the continuation of the more important elements of who they are that allows them to continue to flourish.

Our loved ones can certainly be stubborn and hard to talk to at times. But, our goal isn’t to be right – our goal is to affect change.

You can’t change people with blunt force verbiage. It takes empathy, finesse and time.

The Sandwich Generation

Are you part of the Sandwich Generation – have you lost your mind yet?

Do you feel pulled in too many directions trying to meet the needs of your family and
your aging parents at the same time? Whether it’s emotional, financial, or hands-on
care, how can any of us manage everyone who needs our help? Something has to give
and hopefully it’s not your sanity.

As the saying goes, “put your life support on first, before helping others”. You will need
to do some organizing, but take care of yourself first.

Talk to your kids and spouse:

  • Share how you feel so they appreciate how challenging the situation is. Ask for
    help. This is one of those “never waste a crisis” times when having to help
    everyone at once leads to a constructive evolution in your family as each
    member is asked and begins to do more for themselves. This will also help them
    feel proud that they are contributing to the whole family, including their
    grandparents.
  • Be prepared to accept, however, that as they take over tasks you previously
    managed, that they will be done differently. You must accept that when there is
    too much to do, and insufficient resources to do it all, the key is to move
    forward, one day at a time, even when things aren’t done as you would do them.
    Empower others and let go a little.

    Talk to your siblings and parents:
  • If you are lucky enough to have siblings who help care for your parents, sit with
    them and organize. Accept that not everyone will be equally capable or
    available, and that will feel unfair. Make it as fair as you can and move forward.
    Match people with the tasks they are best suited for, fair or not.
  • Look for ways to structure the support your parents need. There are two goals in
    doing this: 1) organize key areas so they feel more in control – that doesn’t mean
    they are in control (they aren’t), but it may feel that way and give you a chance to
    take a few deep breaths; 2) separate “support time” from “being their child
    time”. Make time to be with them and love them and not problem solve. It is
    really hard to do, but it is key. It is that time that refills your emotional reservoirs.
  • Ensure your parents have POAs for Care and Property set up as well as Living
    Wills. When a medical crisis happens, it is much easier for family members to
    execute what mom or dad wanted, than argue over what you each think they
    wanted.
  • Have a weekly or bi-monthly family meeting where you go over what is needed
    for the next week or two. Divide and conquer.
  • Create a shared online calendar for appointments and key events where
    everyone can see what is needed, when and where, and who is handling it.
    Enlist one of the tech wise grand kids to create this – they will be so proud to
    have helped.
  • Create shared online documents where everyone can see doctors or therapists
    notes, names and numbers, medication lists, or other information each person
    needs access to.
  • Create a medical folder in their home where key documents are kept (copies of
    Health Cards, POAs, DNRs, medication lists, etc… ). Digitize it too.
  • If resources are available, get professional care support and shift the tasks for
    hands on care to them. Caregivers can shop, do meal prep, clean, do laundry,
    ensure medication is taken, and generally provide a sense of peace knowing
    that someone is there when you aren’t.

    Talk to yourself:
  • Before you visit your parent, decide if this is a problem solving or quality time
    visit, and stick to it. Get your head in the right space before you visit as it will be
    very tempting to fall into problem solving mode.
  • Get your own therapist to talk to. Talking to someone you aren’t related to can
    be very helpful and give you a little distance and perspective that is otherwise
    very hard to get.

    Lastly, accept that you cannot do everything, everything won’t be done the way you
    would do it, and there will be more surprises than you can anticipate. That is the
    human condition and comes in to play more than ever when times get tough. All we
    can do is our best, one day at a time.

The Importance of Caregiving to Quality of Life

By David Bernstein,
President, Caregiver Services Ltd.

As we age, most of us want to enjoy retirement in a comfortable, familiar setting – home. Sometimes, however, we need help. Often a family member or loved one can be there. If you’ve received care you know how critical that support is to your quality of life. If you have been there for a loved one, you know how emotionally exhausting being the provider can be. Sometimes, it’s necessary to have assistance from a professional caregiver or personal support worker (PSW). Whoever provides it, caregiving adds tremendous quality to the lives of everyone involved.

Living in a retirement home provides many benefits to help us live independently and get the support we need when necessary.  But even in these environments our circumstances change and additional support is needed beyond what the retirement home can provide.

One of the most critical situations we face is hospital stays. Although our health-care system can provide great care and our family’s support is critical, to ensure that we or our loved one is consistently advocated for and engaged often requires additional support.  PSWs and caregivers are ideally suited to provide this support as well.

Professional support from a caregiver or PSW can take many forms:

  • A four-hour visit, one day a week, for laundry, grocery shopping, companionship, and to drive you to an occasional appointment or for banking.
  • A four-hour visit, three days a week in a retirement home to help with exercises, go for a walk or grocery shop.
  • A four-hour visit each morning and evening to assist with bathing, toileting, medicine reminding, meal preparation and generally getting ready for and closing out the day.
  • An eight-hour daily visit to assist with personal care, light housekeeping, meal preparation, medication reminding, and to help with mobility and general safety.
  • 12-hour overnight care in a hospital while our loved one recuperates from surgery.
  • 12-hour daytime care in a hospital to ensure our loved one is advocated for and engaged when we can’t be there.
  • 12-hour overnight palliative care to ensure somebody is there at all times, giving family a chance to sleep.
  • 24-hour live-in care for when family members travel or vacation.
  • 24-hour care divided into two, twelve-hour shifts (a day shift and overnight shift) for an individual with significant mobility issues, Alzheimer’s disease or dementia requiring constant monitoring.
  • 24-hour live-in care where the overnights are not critical but assistance is needed during the day. Knowing someone is there at night can help give everyone involved peace of mind.

The goal is to understand your needs first and design a schedule with an experienced caregiver or PSW who best fits those needs.

Caregiving is about having the patience and empathy to help people in their most vulnerable states. Great caregiving respects and dignifies the lives people have built and lived, and strives to enrich their day-to-day experience wherever possible.

David Bernstein is President of Caregiver Services Ltd., a Toronto-based organization providing private home, hospital and facility care and 24-hour care. They can be reached in Toronto at (416) 994 6096 and in York Region at (905) 642-9494.

Respecting our Aging Parent’s Wishes

There are few things more important and challenging than trying to understand and respect our aging loved one’s wishes, particularly when serious physical or cognitive health issues develop.  Often, in our minds, their wishes conflict with what we think is needed to keep them safe and connected to others. 

The most frequent and challenging conversation I have with families starts like this: “ Dad really needs help. He isn’t eating enough. I’m not sure he is taking his meds as he should.  He refuses to use his walker. I’m scared he’s going to fall or his health will worsen because he won’t do what he needs to do. I want to have a caregiver visit him to help with meals and medication reminding and help him get around – but he refuses. I don’t think he is making good decisions for himself. His mind isn’t 100% and yet I cannot legally or practically make the decisions for him. What do I do?” 

The real answer (and I know I risk sounding trite) is – you do the best you can and recognize that that may not be enough to solve the problems as you see them.  

My version of the best one can do is this: 

  1. Really try to understand what they want. Do they want to live in their current home as long as possible and maybe even until the end? If not, what do they want?  What gives them pleasure? Try to understand what fears or concerns they have. If you feel that they are doing things that aren’t in their best interests, ask them (non-judgementally!) why they do these things: “are you having any problems taking your meds as prescribed?  Can we go over them together? I noticed you aren’t eating as much as you used to – is there something else you want to eat? You seem to use the walker at home but not when we go out – why is that?” Hopefully, after asking and just listening and seeking to understand the whys, you may be able to find solutions. We all want to control our destiny and maintain our dignity – we want and need to be the authors of our own story. Starting here can be very helpful.
  2. After seeking to understand and respecting their view of their future, focus the more practical discussions on 2 key areas: a) safety; and b) quality of lifeMaybe have these conversations on another day. Let the first discussion about their wishes settle and give them time to feel heard. For the next conversation focus on the these 2 areas:

    Fall Risk
    From a safety point of view, your biggest concern should be a fall at home. When falls occur, full recovery is very difficult and situations can change fast. There are 3 big signs that a fall may be likely:
    1. How is their balance? Do they get dizzy or lightheaded? How are their feet? Do they have any serious foot problems that might precipitate a loss of balance?
    2. Are they taking more than 4 prescribed medications? This quantity of prescribed medication seems to be correlated with side effects that can lead to falls. If they are taking more than 4 prescribed medications, make sure their doctor considers the risks to their ambulation.
    3. Do they have muscle weakness? Of particular concern would be weakness in their legs and feet

I appreciate that these may not be easy for you to learn about. If you have any reason to think that they have 2 or 3 of these, it may be urgent to minimize the fall risk or at least have back up if the risks continue. Do they have a Medical Alarm product (Lifeline etc……) that they can use in the event of a fall? Consider getting the Apple Watch with fall detection if you know they will remember to charge the watch daily. Can they afford a professional caregiver? Can steps and carpets and other trip risks be eliminated from their daily path? Has an Occupational Therapist assessed the house and recommend basic safety devices?

Quality of Life: The biggest contributors to depression and decline in seniors (particularly in nursing homes – but I think it applies everywhere) are: loneliness, helplessness, and boredom. To fight these scourges, consider the following:

  1. How can you help them have companionship? This can be a professional caregiver and/or time with family or friends or anything else that connects them to others. Would they volunteer at a hospital or charity or religious institution or the museum or library?  Do what you can to help them maintain a social life.
  2. Is there an opportunity for them to help take care of somebody or something else? Everyone needs some purpose: helping with grandkids, having pets to care for, doing volunteer work etc….. Anything that makes one feel that they are contributing and needed is very worthwhile.
  3. Do they have things to do? Is there any spontaneity in their life? Are their days different enough so that there is something to look forward to?

These 2 lists may seem obvious. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t critical. Take them seriously.

Of greatest importance when trying to talk to a loved one about their well-being is that you respect that it is their life and they need to be the author of their own story. Finding out what they want, or helping them figure out what they want, is more important than trying to get them to do the things that you, as a loved one or friend, think are good for them.

Nobody ends their eulogy for their loved one saying: “My dad did what I wanted him to do in the last few years and he was better off for it.” Much more often what is heard is: “My dad was able to maintain his dignity until the end. He got to make the decisions about how he wanted to spend his life, and I couldn’t be more proud to be his daughter.”

Many of these considerations come from a great book titled “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. I use them with my clients and their families regularly and it makes a difference.